I’m living in co-ed university residence, missing my sexual soul mate with a bittersweet passion. The place he’d send me, where my awareness of my surroundings disappeared and the only priority was sexual pleasure, deep, lustful, completely animal like.
But I know that it is over, it has been almost a year, and it is far past the time to move on. How can you be a person to describe on of the best way to spend a Sunday afternoon as an afternoon in bed, yet deny yourself for so long?
He is about 5 years younger and is he gorgeous. Having a fitness determination that drives you to fill a backpack with telephone books to run up a hill just to push yourself builds a man’s form to one to be lusted after, and I notice his features constantly, and he is just two doors down the hall…

We are in his room, working on the computer, and I am so aware of his adult dating sexuality. It is getting later, the time for lovers, a time when the mood and desire hits you harder.

I know there is lust in my eyes and I see it in his eyes. Who will make a move? We dance around getting the work done.

We live in a dorm where everyone will know. Is that what I want? My desire and lust is strong, but so is my inhibition. Who will make a move?

I see him searching my eyes. Are his thoughts the same? Is he looking for a signal? We play a dance with safe moves, working around the computer, plausible deniability if rejected, perhaps too safe. I want him to just grab me and start kissing me, and I’m too much a coward to make that move. Yet I feel as though lust is pouring off me and I can see it in him.

I am a coward, and I make no move. I am a relationship orientated female and I just want to fuck him, and in order for that to happen, I need to give him a signal. I see him looking for that signal and like a switch, and decides it isn’t there. So, what did that get me, besides another night of denial? What was I thinking?

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